HEADLINES I’D LIKE TO SEE IN 2014

 

Space Needle Fireworks, Michael Holden Photography

Here is my wish list for 2014. Send me your fantasy headline and I’ll add it.

USDA replaces My Plate with Eat Real Food Globe.
ADA endorses low-carb diets (for real, this time).
Global Climate Change addressed, ocean’s PH normalizes, catastrophe delayed.
Electricity generated from urine reduces dependence on fossil fuels, pollution goes down. (We can fuel out electric cars and skip the rest stops. Win–win.)
Ancel Keys tried posthumously for mass murder. George McGovern, Senate committee, named as co-conspirators.
Direct-to-consumer drug advertising outlawed; statin makers declare bankruptcy.
Labeling on GMO foods leads to reduced pesticide use; allergies decline; bee population rebounds.
U.S. ends subsidies for sugar, corn, soy, and wheat crops; provides aid to local farmers.
Grazing animals found to restore deserts and turn them back into lush grasslands.
Diabetes 2, Alzheimer’s, dementia, heart disease, obesity, and mental illness linked to a lack of natural fat and low cholesterol; AHA advises taking advantage of easy fix.
T. Colin Campbell comes out as a Pescatorian, not a pure vegan; treats Denise Minger to a sashimi dinner. (See 1:11:37 in the video.)

Here are a few sent in by readers to the Seattle Times:

Miley Cyrus defects to North Korea—Neal Starkman
First contact: Visitors from Alpha Centauri land in Seattle, want to meet Bill Gates.–Jim White
Crime falls to record low, Seattle police cited as “best in nation”–Carol Van Bebber

MAY YOUR NEW YEAR BE FILLED WITH GOOD NEWS!
(C) 2014, Judy Barnes Baker, www.carbwarsblog.com

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